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Childhood Magic



I remember being in kindergarten when I got my magic powers.
I was wearing a pilgrim hat we had just made during craft time, and I was sitting with a classmate near the miniature wigwam we had for some odd reason.We built the biggest stack of blocks you had ever seen- twice my height it seemed, just one neat stack of wooden cubes painted with letters and numbers. Suddenly, the tower felt the slightest breeze in the room, and began to sway.
"Woah!" I exclaimed, and I quickly held my arms out wide, as if I could catch the tower when it tumbled. But the tower had heard me, and settled to a standstill.
Curious. It must have been a coincidence that I stopped the blocks from tumbling onto my little head. There's no way I could actually stop something from happening with just words, right?
But... what if I did?
So I decided to put it to the test. "Fall!" I commanded, and the blocks began to sway once again. I started to panic because I didn't really want my architectural marvel to collapse, so I quickly called for it to be still. And it DID.

 Lillebaby

The classmate I had been playing with was mesmerized. I was afraid. Afraid of what this power meant, what I would do with it. Most of all, I couldn't let any one know. Obviously I was some kind of witch who could perform magic at will, but I could never tell anyone because then they would want me to do magic all the time, and I didn't have time for that, not when there were books to read and crafts to make.
At home, more odd things would happen. I could move objects with my eyes. Close one eye and things would move slightly to the left. Close the other and they would move to the right.
My greatest ability was to fall asleep wherever I wished and materialize in bed by morning. Convenient for when I was too tired to walk myself to my room.
Unfortunately I also caused a lot of things to disappear if I wasn't careful with where I set them. I'll turn my back and poof! Gone.

 

But after a while, I started to grow up. I got sidetracked by school and boys, by my home life and social life. It was one exhausting chapter after another, and I could feel myself giving up on those little dreams and beliefs. I've been stripped of my magic, and been shuffled into a rotating door of mediocrity and disappointment. Now I sit here trying to figure out what the heck just happened and where the heck I'm gonna go from here.
Now that I'm an adult, I can't summon magic at will anymore. I have to go looking for it. I find it in cups of coffee (energy!) and in books of marvelous journeys (teleportation). I can talk to animals but only if they say what I want them to say. I seek out the power of joy in little daily things, and I use this to push myself forward.
 Every now and again I do wish I was able to control my world like I did when I was five, even if all I can do is whisper "stop" to a tumbling tower of blocks. To have that kind of ability is a privilege reserved for youth, who throw themselves into the imaginative world of magic and possibilities.  Even though I grew up, I want to believe I can find away to tap back into that magic again, and take control of my own world. If I just believe hard enough I can make it come back. I just have to believe.

Comments

  1. Now this I love! It's so, well...magical! Great job, and may I say, Magic on, Girl!

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  2. Absolutely wonderful to read! You made me smile all the way through! Thanks for that!

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