A Day In A Life With Anxiety

It's dark a.m. and I'm awake. Though I laid my head down around midnight and shut my eyes tight, my mind is racing. It dissects each aspect of the day before. 
I wonder if my friends are mad at me because I never answered their texts. My boyfriend hasn't come home from work, so he must have been crushed by a pallet or hit by a drunk driver. I didn't lock the door and a murderer is going to break in and hurt me and my baby. Someone was talking about me when I went out today, I just know they did...
I may doze in and out of sleep. The littlest sounds awake me- here comes the murderer! Just a tree. The dogs escaped! They're on my bed. Tate jumped out of her crib! Tate can't stand on her own. I get frustrated that I can't just fall asleep. At some point in the early morning, I've finally managed to doze off.
It feels like a matter of minutes before I wake up again. My boyfriend is kissing me goodbye as he leaves for work. I think about dozing off again, and I do, up until I realize that I haven't heard Tate. My heartbeat quickens- she's smothered herself like I've always been afraid of. I try to rationalize with myself, knowing full well she was up later than usual and could very easily still be sleeping. I can't shake the feeling, and I could never forgive myself if I didn't check. So I sneak into her room, place a hand on her back, feel her breathing.
Relief washes over me


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