Just Let Go


Every time my little sister moves, she carries the biggest mountain of crap around with her. None of it seems to leave- clothes, books, dolls, even bath and beauty products are locked in her mobile time capsule. She's a nomadic hoarder, and no matter how much you beg, tease or rationalize, she still has every little bit from middle school til now.
I view this clutter as emotional spillage, and while most of us would say we’re not extreme hoarders, we still have those same habits. The human psyche can only take so much- it can get overloaded and crushed like an overflowing box. Holding onto excessive amounts of material possessions, although usually not healthy, is just one tactic some use to express themselves. If we can't keep it inside anymore, it's gonna come out one way or another.

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I myself have gone to extremes to get out of my own head. The first thing I had ever gone to was self harming. Not to die, but because I was confused, and frustrated, and had no idea what to do with all of the pain I was feeling. I guess a part of me felt that I could unzip my skin and let the suffering seep out. It wasn't just my current situation- it was years of stress and events I would rather forget piling up on each other until I cracked.
It's not something I'm proud of, and I never want to return to it. I stopped years ago, but even today I feel the urge, like how a smoker craves a cigarette. "Just need to get the edge off," would be the excuse. But damaging my body is no way to treat myself if I want to be happy. I could never be happy hiding my arms and feeling self conscious about someone finding out. It just doesn't work. It adds fuel to the fire.
Releasing stress and expressing our feelings is important and healthy. Unfortunately, it seems that there is not enough time spent teaching children how to cope with complicated emotions, and when we grow up we turn to destructive behaviors. They seem to be the quickest path to ease the pain- but healing should never be harmful.
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There are a number of ways to deal with stress, and it never has to be difficult. Something as simple as sitting in silence and reflecting on the day can help you sort things out. Write down your problems. Look for what you can cut out of your life to reduce stress. Start a daily ritual to help you unwind. Remember all the obstacles you’ve overcome so far. Challenge yourself to double that success.
Carrying the weight of your past is overwhelming, yet we can't seem to put it down. But life keeps moving forward, and we should too. We should look ahead at adventures to come at all times. The world is full of experiences and opportunities to expand your horizons rather than turning down darker roads. It’s all trial and error, and learning what works best for your lifestyle.
I want those who are in my shoes to see that they're not alone. We might be stumbling around in the dark with shitty flashlights but we're doing it. Eventually we'll find better quality batteries that will keep us going til we find the light.
Remember you are 100% unique. You are made of stars, and you are full of beautiful life. You have the power to change your life with a single decision. You’re potential is truly limitless, and every goal you ever wanted is within your grasp. You just have to let go of the past and reach for it.


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